An Inner Flame…

A day was perfect for her, it was a beautiful morning. After many days it was the sun rays which woke her up and not the daily irritating alarm clock. She wore a lovely smile as she walk to the kitchen. While singing her favorite song she made a coffee, just the way she like, and it was perfect. A smell of coffee made her believe ‘its gonna be a perfect day’. Lost in the thoughts with coffee, she saw a clock, it was almost the time. She opened her cupboard, in messy room of hers the only tidy things were her formals. She picked up her favorite shirt, a black one; gifted by someone special and a perfect matching trouser. A tigress was all set to hunt her client.

Even the journey was long, her play list and surprising green signals made it really very easy for her. As if everyone was contributing to make that day perfect.
“5 minutes before time”, she was there.
A most awaited discussion has begun and the tigress started losing her grip gradually on everything. She kept building the courage to fight but it was dragged away. In that 2 hrs, a tigress had become a scared rabbit. A fear of facing everyone who believed in her is what remained with her.
She wanted to reach her nest as early as possible. A play list was hers but she could not relate to any song. All the signals were red. Everyone was against her, even her vehicle which suddenly had some issues with ignition. She reached her nest, but she was lost.
She tried to open up in front of her parents, but she couldn’t. They always believed in her and that day she was a failure. She was ashamed to tell them what had happened. They were parents for a reason; they understood the situation of their cub. They tried to show her a way to stand again. But she had lost herself. The elixir which she used to get from her parents was right there this time as well but a sight to see it, was not. She was aware of being in depression and her mind was not ready to accept another of it. It was definitely the first depression which made her a tigress but what now? She was looking for something, a light may be…

Days were spent in search of that light. She continued depression-quiz-150x226staring outside  the window, going through her old photographs to see just one picture of her confidence, she went through her facebook timeline hoping that her some status might change the situation. But she was not able to find anything. Even the rain, a coffee and her favorite author could not give her anything. Everyone around her tried to ignite her inner flame but the efforts turned out to be in vain. The appetite was lost and a smiling face was gone. An inspiring person had lost the will to inspire herself.

Its been days since she had faced a mirror. She was so disappointed with herself that she was not ready to face those eyes.
One day she gathered a valor to face her again. Hair was messy, the eyes were pale and covered in dark circles and the existence of her smiling, confident face was not at all there. The controlled tears started rolling down. She turned towards right to see her left side, she had lost some weight. She turned again to see the right side. She was observing herself from top to bottom. Except the eyes, she was catching all the minute details like every time. She tried to remember when she had such a sloppy nails. The eyes were seeing everything including a Phoenix on her right leg. The rolling eyes were stopped and so were the tears.

A long stare at a tattoo and she was now collecting all the lost pieces. She remembered what had happened when she decided to get the phoenix tattoo. What was the reason she chose phoenix among rest of the animals? There was an eagle, a hawk, a falcon, a lion, a tiger then why phoenix? After all it’s an imaginary bird, shown in some fantasy movies. She conjured up with a thought of not giving up in any circumstances. A phoenix is reborn from ashes then why not me? She asked herself. A determination she was looking for so many days was hidden within her. All she needed was a different angle.

The tigress was resurrected by her phoenix.phoenix1

Life is never about how hard you fell, it is always about how you stood again. The inspiration we look for is always hidden inside. But we tend to be busy in thinking how others are seeing us, we fail to notice ourselves. Sometime it takes someone else to reignite the flame but many a times it is in our control. Take that control and find your phoenix which will always guide to look for misplaced you, which will always give you an urge to stand again and fly again…

-Anannya

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